too damn lazy.

10:40pm the work is spread all over the floor and I'm sitting in the only clearing. I just don't feel like doing any of that stuff like how everyone normally does. Presentation tomorrow and other things on my mind are much more important to worry about. I don't see the point of even finishing the work. Its useless and won't take me anywhere in life, it is basically everything I did when I was 12. Its easy, too easy, so easy to a point that I just can't be bothered to do it, its not worth my time. I'd rather sit and type about crap rather than do it. Typing out word after word which nobody is going to read.

The move to Malaysia has brought me a new apple laptop, a new car, a tv in my room, and clothes that I could never afford before. All of this without spending a cent of my money. But it hasn't brought me happiness. My step dad feels bad that we moved but to be honest I could have stayed in England, but that wasn't really an option really. Each time we moved countries it was at the right times and so we reaped the benefits and I thank god for that. I am just one person who can't even walk on her own feet and depends on her parents for everything. My parents are the people who have to look after themselves plus others in the family so they deserve their say. I'm talking rubbish. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I know nothing.

I need to do this work, presentation tomorrow. But my emotions are taking over. My thoughts on situations that I can't change. Those pills were the only things keeping me going before. I thought I didn't need them anymore. I was wrong. I know I will never be happy but lets try and get happy, even if its just for a moment.






xx